Daring Greatly

With Brené Brown at the Massachusetts Conference for Women in Boston, 2012.

Krystal: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are so sorry about the delay of this post. We’ve been über busy this week, what with having actual jobs (a fact we had both conveniently forgotten during our 17 day hiatus) and spending this weekend in Boston dining (at Davio’s), wine-ing (still at Davio’s), and taking in a show (at the Boston Opera House). We saw Once, which was amazing (for two highly educated chicks, this is the one word we kept falling back on to describe dinner, the wine, AND the show. BUT according to a recent BuzzFeed, it’s one of many words we’re supposed to stop saying once we’re over 30-which I’m NOT...yet!)

Kate: And I am, but they can NOT make me stop saying it. Totes adorbs maybe, but not amazing.

Krystal: Well, the fact of the matter is the lead in Once WAS totes adorbs and the show WAS amazing! If you ever get the chance, go see it. You must.

This sage advice leads me to our next topic for contemplation: Self-help. (I’m currently picturing that Mike Myer’s SNL character, Linda Richman of Coffee Talk, “I’ll give you a topic...talk amongst yourselves.”)

Kate: I have a confession to make: I am a self-help junkie.

Being the Oprah-follower that I am, I finally felt the draw to read some of the books she touted on her talk show once I turned thirty (is a tri-life-crisis a thing?). I started out with Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now, and I am not exaggerating when I say it changed my life because it changed my way of thinking.

From then, I was hooked, and my love for self-help reading began.

Krystal: See-Oprah again! Let me assure you all, she is serious when she says she’s hooked.

And while Kate has been helping herself for only five or so years, I have been reading self-help for a much longer time but with much less seriousness and frequency. My first foray into helping myself was in the form of a book picked up at a yard sale when I was in my teens. I was 16, newly single, and trolling yard sales for fun one Saturday morning (I was suuuuper cool). As I poked through the book box, my favorite part of any yard sale, I found the 1992 classic: Planning a Wedding with Divorced Parents by Cindy Moore. With optimism for my future marital bliss in my heart and 25 cents burning a hole in the pocket of what is sure to have been sweatpants, I bought the book and took it to my weekend home at my dad’s. As most know, this book has yet to come in handy.

What have come in handy over the past five plus years, are all of the recommendations that Kate has made to me. Kate has introduced me to the works of Patti Digh, Gretchen Rubin, Deepak Chopra, Marie Forleo, Marianne Williamson, Danielle LaPorte, Gabby Bernstein, and the courageously vulnerable woman we met last winter, Brené Brown. I have learned a tremendous amount about myself, creativity, love, and life from all of these brilliant minds...except that damn Eckhart Tolle...he’s good, but he’s a bit too deep for my liking. And while I'm being totally honest, I only read books Kate has read first for two reasons: 1. I save money because she buys them all and then lets me borrow them and 2. She highlights and makes notes- It's like CliffNotes for self-help books- Kate's Notes™!

Kate: I stumbled upon Brené’s work through one of the previously mentioned self-help writers. She had recently given a TED talk on vulnerability that to this day is one of the most viewed talks on the site. The title of her most popular work, Daring Greatly, spoke to me. And through the power of Amazon.com. I was reading it within days of discovering it. This book and Brené’s work is pure genius. Because everyone knows what it is like to fear vulnerability and putting ourselves out there.

Once you finish the book though, you feel empowered to dare greatly and “put yourself in the arena” as she likes to say.

Not that I have become a daredevil or done anything too drastically different, yet, but it has encouraged me to take small steps towards that fear-inducing word, change.

Krystal: Admittedly, I have always been a fearful person. Afraid to try new things, go new places, risk failure…ew, failure is the WORST. However, this book opened my eyes to the importance of acting in the face of fear rather than cowering. Brené wrote about being courageous and taking risks and not being afraid to fall on your face every now and then.

When discussing whether or not we should: A. Start this blog and B. Actually publish it for the world to see, Kate and I both battled the fear monster a bit. “What might people think?” “Who will actually read it?” “Who cares?”  Ultimately, our desire to be ourselves, write our truth, and try something brave, won out. This is our attempt to get into the arena. (Although Kate wouldn’t let me include the “F” word in this entry, so I don’t know exactly HOW daring we are going to get here…)

Kate: Like I said before, small steps...

The book taught us that no life is free from criticism and judgement. However, the only people who really have a right to criticize and judge are those who are also “in the arena” putting themselves out there. This is true of anything: writing, teaching, parenting, etc.

The following quote inspired Brené to do the work she does and write her book, and, through Brené, has inspired us to take more chances:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the  man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly… who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

- Theodore Roosevelt.  

Krystal: Old Teddy also said something about carrying a big stick…wink, wink.